The Corporate Holdings of The United Fruit Companies is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by The Board of Directors with an iron fist, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, public floggings, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 2.033 billion subsidiarians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Plantacion Zemurray. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.6%.

The frighteningly efficient United Fruit Brand economy, worth 322 trillion company vouchers a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Tourism. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 158,752 company vouchers, with the richest citizens earning 8.6 times as much as the poorest.

Disadvantaged neighbourhoods have become no-go areas after sundown, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people, a third of subsidiarians are e-certified CEOs, and the national symbol of The United Fruit Companies is now always featured on a skewer. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The United Fruit Companies's national animal is the octopus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Zemurrayism.

The United Fruit Companies is ranked 243,463^rd in the world and 146^th in The Western Isles for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 46.62 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.